Unshielded and Undressed
Image from Brian Snyder | Reuters | CNBC
Sharing how you feel about something politically and socially intense, publicly, is a scary thing. Me being someone who loves a good platform and to share my voice, somehow felt so different doing it in just the format of written word. By publishing my thoughts, it wrote my feelings into history, and to be honest it made me feel unshielded and naked. I can’t imagine how Claudine feels. She took a job, she stood as a first, she paved the way, and was left naked and unshielded.
Yesterday, I posted about how I felt about the resignation of Claudine Gay. Out of fear for how others might perceive me, or any false perceptions or beliefs that others would form - I deleted it. Long and short of it all, I felt horrible - all day. Being 100% honest, the news hit me like a punch in my gut. Brought tears to my eyes, and I just had to process that this is what is meant for my people. As I went on throughout the day, through introspection, I processed my emotions and feelings. As I went on throughout the day with a lens for heavy introspection and discernment of my feelings, I processed my emotions and feelings. I realized the pain I was feeling for what happened to Claudine is too common of a behavior. Aiming to discredit and target a black woman, it’s not ok and never will be ok in my book. I love all people; it’s how I am naturally wired. And I say wired, because it’s just who I am. God made all people and things, based on my spiritual beliefs. Thurgood Marshall once said, "In recognizing the humanity of our fellow beings, we pay ourselves the highest tribute." This is what I believe we could all be striving for.
By midnight, last night, I landed at feeling a sense of renewal for this fight and this work, which was prompted and reenergized by reading the words of the late John Lewis. We are taught as children to work hard and to show up, and show out knowing that one day, we will be tested and have to find our strength, our voice, and our power.
“Take a long, hard look down the road you will have to travel once you have made a commitment to work for change. Know that this transformation will not happen right away. Change often takes time. It rarely happens all at once. In the movement, we didn't know how history would play itself out. When we were getting arrested and waiting in jail or standing in unmovable lines on the courthouse steps, we didn’t know what would happen, but we knew it had to happen.
Use the words of the movement to pace yourself. We used to say that ours is not the struggle of one day, one week, or one year. Ours is not the struggle of one judicial appointment or presidential term. Ours is the struggle of a lifetime, or maybe even many lifetimes, and each one of us in every generation must do our part. And if we believe in the change we seek, then it is easy to commit to doing all we can, because the responsibility is ours alone to build a better society and a more peaceful world.”
― John Lewis, Across That Bridge: A Vision for Change and the Future of America
Many of us know all too well, that Claudine's exit was about "Power and Race" showing who truly has the power, and who needs to fall in line. Considering the target towards DEI work and the idea that diversity or inclusion, is reverse racism or not all inclusive enough of a cause. The loss of Affirmative action last year was a kick in the butt for our children, the attacks on diversity programming is a punch in the gut towards our financial, mental, emotional, and physical well-being in the workplace, and the resignation of Claudine, was about remembering to stay in your place and who has the power. Money talks. There is a stench of privilege that runs through so many parts of the systems and mindsets, that remind us the road is not easy and there is still so much work to be done. Nonetheless, the pursuit and fight for equity continues. One point that struck me in all the news surrounding Claudine’s exit, was all too real a reminder for the experience any one of us could be put through, any given day.
While reading an article posted through the Grio, the emotions I had been processing, resurfaced in a different way. When we as Black children first come into the world, one of the first lessons we are taught is to be “twice as good.” This command has always been a form of protection. A reminder if you will, that no matter what spaces you may ascend to, someone will be waiting in the wings to pounce — to weaponize an error or gray area to deem you unworthy. It doesn’t matter if they do not hold themselves to the same standards, or if you have been exceptional in nearly all endeavors. It is you, Black child, Black teenager, Black adult, Black professional, who will be accused of being unfit, should the time come. Reading this, reminded me of the pain I had been feeling. It pierced my heart to hear this, in this manner. It is all too real, and a reminder that any day, the day may come when we are put to question, and torn apart, with no shield or sword.
To anyone who is feeling the pain, know that you aren't alone. This is a scary thing to process but one that is no stranger to our struggle. To the MF people in the back, "Diversity & Inclusion is not reverse racism", it's opening the playing field and knowing that we all don't come from the same starting point. Each of us as humans may need something different to accelerate our lives or bridge gaps, allowing us to be at our best. These are not matters we can be silent on. They are matters of the heart and matters of business our ancestors would have fought for. Like with any struggle, there is a way to handle it “heat” or “light.” I bring light, to share awareness and a call to action for more curiosity and coming together to create more culturally responsive and equitable experiences for learning, growing, and living. Basic human needs and rights are threatened by just existing. If you had to live like this, how would you feel? This type of reflection alone, should strike a chord and make you want to be better and to help impact change.
What does this all mean for us as black people? That is my question. What hope, and comfort can we ever cling to for a better tomorrow?
For more direct conversations, guidance on pouring into your people, building an equitable workplace or space, or support with navigating organizational and societal challenges, send me an email: neisha@rosesgrow.com. Let’s chat!
Ref
Alford, Natasha S. "Claudine Gay Was Pushed Out to Send a Message about Who Really Has Power in America." The Grio, 3 Jan. 2024, thegrio.com/2024/01/03/claudine-gay-was-pushed-out-to-send-a-message-about-who-really-has-power-in-america/. Accessed 3 Jan. 2024.
Lewis, John. Across That Bridge: A Vision for Change and the Future of America. Grand Central Publishing, 2017.
Evans, Nia T. "What Claudine Gay’S Resignation From Harvard Means for the Rest of Us." Mother Jones, 2 Jan. 2024, www.motherjones.com/politics/2024/01/what-claudine-gays-resignation-from-harvard-means-for-the-rest-of-us/. Accessed 3 Jan. 2024.
